New Year, New Hopes

It's going to be a new year soon. I just wish that this new year will be a different year. In this year, I just feel that everything is just normal and nothing special. Although I'm now in university, I'm doing my degree, just I don't feel that everything is in the position. I just feel that this is not my life. May be you will think that I should be satistied for my life now because some people can't even do their degree. But, I think my life should be live out by myself, everything now I feel that is all planned for me, but not planned by myself. The problem is everything is just fine, all is fine and nothing happens, like obstacles in life?

Studying is one of my hobby, because I love it so much, may be u feel I m a weird person, but I like knowledge. I'm smart but I wish I can be smarter. When I was in primary school, I was just a normal student with a normal result. When I went to secondary school, my result started improving. Until now I'm in university, my siblings expected me to get very good result in fact I'm not. May be this is because there is no engineers in my family, so my sister and my brother wish I could be a successful egineer and make my parents proud. So, that's make me feel that that's not my life.

It's true that I wanted to be an engineer, but it's starting to be "my sister want me to be an engineer". I wanted to grow up, I wanted to free from her plans. Since I was a child, she started to plan everything for me. But not now, I'm 19, and I can plan everything now, I can take any thing myself. She is too protective. She always thinks that I am her baby brother, and I'll be a baby forever, so she need to babying me until I die...

So in this new year, I hope that I'll be a grown man. I do not want to be a cute boy but a mature man. I wanted to grow up. I wish that everything will be different in this new year. Deep in my heart, no one will know what's in my heart because I dont let them to. The thing that I only know in my heart, I wish it can come true.

My life, not yours...

The final exam's result is out. I get 3.46...

I was so happy with my result, becouse i expected it was worse than this. So, I call my sister and tell this news. She is very sad with the result, keep on telling me that I should get 1st honour. Ya, I know I should get 1st honour, but at least I had tried my best in the exam. I know Wat i can do is just 3.46. A lot of my friends even failed in Thermodynamic this subject. But I passed it. I m so happy that I did it. Why she wants to compare my result with the one who get better result than I am, why she don think that I pass my thermo?

I studied, I know I written all i know in the paper. But what can I do? If I take the exam again I think I will get the same result. 3.46.... I know where my knowledge reach and where is my grade. Mayb I m the first engineer in the family so u expect me to do better than this. It's not easy to get a result like this. I wan to tell u that I had done my best and i really really tried hard. I didnt play and chit chat with friends when studying. I just went out with friends once a week. I stay in the hostel most of the time. and study study study....

Please be understanding. Understand my situation, my efforts... If u are so good to get the first honour, please help me to go to the exam. If u get 1st honour then congratulations, I promiss to get 1st honour in the every coming exams. If u failed single sunject, sorry to say that please be happy with my result.