I do not have a choice

It is going to be 3am in the morning, and I know it is the time for us to be on bed so "early" in the morning. But I have just finished a wonderful movie, Devil Wears Prada. I am also a fashion lover in this world. I believe that the outer beauty of a person is very important because it gives the first impression of you to other people. For those who does not care of their "look", I am sorry to say that, you are living in your own world that only you in your world. It is so important that how is the first impression that you give to other people. I won't wear a slipper and shorts for an interview. Because I know I will be jobless for the entire of the life if I wear this for an interview(except for toilet cleaners). So people, tidy yourselves and get back to the reality.

From this movie, there is a phrase "I do not have a choice". Yes, we always do not have a choice. But when you think depper and deeper, actually we do have a choice. Just we do not have the guts to make the choice. Some people like me, always running away from the world by just speak out this words easily, "I do not have a choice, they make me to do this!" NO ONE can control your life, I think. This is your life, you are the one who choose how your life got to be, not he, not she and definately not they. Do not change your life just because of them.

Sometimes, people work too hard just to get a wonderful life, wearing Prada, Gucci and bla bla bla.. But when you ask about their love life and their family, they will give you a look, a look with a lot of ????? This is because they do not know what is happening to their beloved family. When is their children's birthday and how many years they had married. No, some people they know nothing. Is it a wonderful life? I do not think so. People, can you stop working for just 5 minutes and ask a question, " How is your day, my son?" This will change everything.

My final exam is just next week, I am trying to give myself a lot of excuses not to study. I studied for 20 times, I am tired, I am stressed, and bla bla bla.... Even sometimes I tell myself I need to clean the bathroom but end up with doing nothing. I do have a choice to study, but I just running away by using excuses. Why don't I just sleep and wake up early in the morning to study? Good night.

New Year, New Hopes

It's going to be a new year soon. I just wish that this new year will be a different year. In this year, I just feel that everything is just normal and nothing special. Although I'm now in university, I'm doing my degree, just I don't feel that everything is in the position. I just feel that this is not my life. May be you will think that I should be satistied for my life now because some people can't even do their degree. But, I think my life should be live out by myself, everything now I feel that is all planned for me, but not planned by myself. The problem is everything is just fine, all is fine and nothing happens, like obstacles in life?

Studying is one of my hobby, because I love it so much, may be u feel I m a weird person, but I like knowledge. I'm smart but I wish I can be smarter. When I was in primary school, I was just a normal student with a normal result. When I went to secondary school, my result started improving. Until now I'm in university, my siblings expected me to get very good result in fact I'm not. May be this is because there is no engineers in my family, so my sister and my brother wish I could be a successful egineer and make my parents proud. So, that's make me feel that that's not my life.

It's true that I wanted to be an engineer, but it's starting to be "my sister want me to be an engineer". I wanted to grow up, I wanted to free from her plans. Since I was a child, she started to plan everything for me. But not now, I'm 19, and I can plan everything now, I can take any thing myself. She is too protective. She always thinks that I am her baby brother, and I'll be a baby forever, so she need to babying me until I die...

So in this new year, I hope that I'll be a grown man. I do not want to be a cute boy but a mature man. I wanted to grow up. I wish that everything will be different in this new year. Deep in my heart, no one will know what's in my heart because I dont let them to. The thing that I only know in my heart, I wish it can come true.

My life, not yours...

The final exam's result is out. I get 3.46...

I was so happy with my result, becouse i expected it was worse than this. So, I call my sister and tell this news. She is very sad with the result, keep on telling me that I should get 1st honour. Ya, I know I should get 1st honour, but at least I had tried my best in the exam. I know Wat i can do is just 3.46. A lot of my friends even failed in Thermodynamic this subject. But I passed it. I m so happy that I did it. Why she wants to compare my result with the one who get better result than I am, why she don think that I pass my thermo?

I studied, I know I written all i know in the paper. But what can I do? If I take the exam again I think I will get the same result. 3.46.... I know where my knowledge reach and where is my grade. Mayb I m the first engineer in the family so u expect me to do better than this. It's not easy to get a result like this. I wan to tell u that I had done my best and i really really tried hard. I didnt play and chit chat with friends when studying. I just went out with friends once a week. I stay in the hostel most of the time. and study study study....

Please be understanding. Understand my situation, my efforts... If u are so good to get the first honour, please help me to go to the exam. If u get 1st honour then congratulations, I promiss to get 1st honour in the every coming exams. If u failed single sunject, sorry to say that please be happy with my result.